Math teacher and wife: not completely unrelated

Every so often, I am in awe at the gift that I have to do and to communicate mathematics. Sure, I did my work as a student, and I still talk about math with people better than me, but I have no doubt that this gift could easily have skipped past me. I see lots of people who work hard to "get" math and never do really. I don't mean any of this arrogantly; in fact, I find that I am happiest when I am doing work that helps other people learn math. The gift is bigger than me, for sure, and I'm in awe of it every once in a while.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was working with a student who is really struggling in math these days. What was so clear to me was not clear to the student at all. I do sympathize, but I've only experienced frustration with the material in one or two situations in math in my entire life.

On my way home yesterday, I was grateful for the gift to be able to do and to communicate mathematics well. I've never been trained to teach math, except for the amazing teachers I had in my lifetime. I wonder if they know how good they are.

In light of the gift of mathematics in my life and the upcoming marriage to Keith, I thought about something. I want to be as good at being a wife to Keith as I am at explaining math. I realize that I have to do my part to get good at it, but I am humbled by the reality that a part of it just has to come naturally. Even then, it won't come overnight, and it won't always be easy.

How can I be that good? What is my part to play in getting good at being a wife? In math, I read books, watch other teachers, and listen carefully to the questions of my students. By analogy, perhaps becoming a good wife starts with reading books, watching others who are good at it, and listening carefully to the hopes and dreams of my husband.

In math, it is very possible to want to be good at it and never really get there. I wonder if that's also true with being a wife. I hope the desire to be good at it is also part of the achievement of it.

Another piece of this that I thought about yesterday was the timing in becoming a good communicator of mathematics. I wasn't born with the ability. In fact, my first tutoring client was a bit of a struggle. I was in middle school, and she was in third grade. I earned $3 an hour trying to help her learn to add, subtract, and multiply. To this day, those skills are hard for me to teach. But, within four years, I was in high school working with college students on their math problems. So, maybe being a good wife won't come on April 4 (sorry, Keith!), but it can come in time.

If I could only blossom in success as a wife like I have as a teacher of math, I'd be delighted! I am going to do my part, but I hope the instincts and gifts come, too.